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Did Covid affect your Solo sex quality
Well, what can I say. It seems we are alike in many things! And I believe that the results of this poll / interactive experience / analysis will show that many people also feel this way, which tells you immediately something very important: you’re not alone, you’re not broken, this is all as normal as it sucks.
I am not a psychologist and my lectures on psychology are old and outdated, but I think that the massive trauma that covid brought with itself, extends also to areas of our Ego and the relationship we have with pleasure. Personally, I’ve found that I’ve moved from shooting at least one or two loads a day (where in the good moments I would get to even 4/5, when really horny), to maybe one or two a week now.
But what happened? I still look at the same images online, and I still put in my favorites and put my likes to the same things that I’ve always liked… and yet. I don’t feel connected, I don’t feel as present and in the moment, and I don’t feel my cock responding. Of course, I might decide to “take the matter in my own hands” and sure, I get hard and I’ll shoot my load. And that’s that.
Instead, before covid 19, I used to at least once a week have these long jerking off sessions where I’d make of it almost a spiritual experience, as it should be; an actual session of cock worship. I was fueled up with passion, with lust, and I loved edging. Now I’m still the same man, I still like the same things… but fuck, why does it all feel so distant and far away from my core?
I believe the answer once again relies on the internalized and not at all processed (and ongoing) trauma; I also believe there is a part of me that feels that it would be “wrong” to enjoy sex like before right now. Because I am alive.
I am not sure if this is a sort of sense of guilt from seeing all of those people die, or if it’s because I feel that since I got lucky (and also I was very very careful) I should now only focus on survival, as said. But I do know that I don’t relate to pleasure like something always available and to look for. Pleasure like it was before, just like hope in the future like it was before, just seem to be something out of reach at the moment.
And maybe I behave this way because when I do indulge in pleasure, I find myself disappointed and worried, because again of the Emotional Blockage.
Did you also feel this way? What about your use of pornography? Is it something that maybe come from social media itself? Is it the “social” part of it?
If you feel inclined to pursue this stream of thoughts, please click here to proceed to “Pornography and social media” by clicking on “I agree”.
If you don’t, then try moving to the next stage clicking on “I disagree”.
I would think that because we lacked real social feelings that we focused too much on the online socials. Which isn’t a bad thing on itself but it can take away creativity and real connections. Because we post and look at posts that are usually outrageously perfect or hot. We are inclined to show how good we still are doing, during this pandemic, how we are still having fun, maybe even how invincible we are.in all this. But it’s an image. It’s not real. If you are caring about yourself or your beloved ones, you hold back. In any kind of way. As I like to be an integer man and Sir of boys that trust me, I still hold back towards others. The painful part is that my sex drive with my boys is also like ‘frozen’ as Sir Lupus experienced. I have fun but differently. And yes indeed shorter sessions if we do at all. I have never been watched porn so much in my life than during lockdowns for the pandemic. And fuck there is hot porn! But I catch myself thinking of porn or hot images I remembered from social media while playing instead of being in the moment with my boys. I catch myself even further to sometimes getting more turned on while filming some action with my boys. Some stuff I put on social media. To conclude this elaborate comment : social media for me personally absorbs and shapes my sexuality way too much! It’s not healthy!
This tweet was posted today. It is clearly a cry out for help but also interesting in this discussion. The reply is spookingly comforting. It is also very ego-oriented and egocentric in a way. Coz that’s how the world is running now. If you wanna be happy and safe from harm : no better pal than your own happy dong! Set yourself free by just gooning on porn. But most of all : do it alone and at home.
No problem with gooning or watching porn at all but i do have a problem with a world in which we forget how to be sensual and sexual in relation to others. Certainly for boys and men who are careful in this pandemic and who are not in couple. The ones that used to thrive on social encounters for their intimacy and sex. I fear that there are a lot of loners out there and all of this may make sad martyrs of our global gay society today.
Here the tweet :
Goon person
I’m relapsing bros. I tried taking a break from porn and I failed. I feel so stupid for thinking that I choose porn. Porn chooses me. I am and always will be a porn addict.
Reply
Nothing wrong with that, bro. If you try it again, Porn will find you.
Porn has transfered your mind to a better world.
Stay at home. Goon your happy dong all day.
Porn will milk you nonstop. Forever. You’re a penis-brained goontard now.
Only Porn matters. Only Penis matters.
Quote Tweet
Mi sono trovato in dubbio davanti alla scelta agree / disagree relativa alla parte nella quale Hai espresso la difficoltà a trovare soddisfazione nella masturbazione e nell’autoerotismo. In estrema sintesi, quella che prima era adorazione del cazzo si è ridotta ad essere semplice meccanica. Ottieni l’orgasmo, ma il piacere è altro. Mi rivedo in parte in questa descrizione, e tuttavia ho notato che riesco a rinvigorire il desiderio (almeno parzialmente) in due modi.
Il primo è l’interazione digitale (in tempo reale, ma anche in differita) con persone che effettivamente conosco. Non è un incontro dal vivo, non ci esponiamo al rischio del contagio entrando in contatto tra noi o con altre persone che potremmo incrociare. C’è una componente fantastica data dal “vorrei che succedesse questo” ma manca l’idealizzazione dell’altro soggetto. Immagino la situazione dentro la quale mi colloco, ma non la persona che vi colloco assieme a me. È corretto in questo caso parlare di pornografia, secondo Te? Se sì, si può dire che riesco servirmi di essa per trovare soddisfazione e appagamento?
Il secondo modo è l’auto-imposizione della castità mediante l’uso di una cock-cage, e in questo caso mi rendo conto si aprirebbero numerosi altri capitoli. La negazione (anche se controllata da me, ed è per questo che posso categorizzarla come solo) della possibilità di masturbarmi è autoerotismo o annichilimento dello stesso? Secondo Te in questo ultimo aspetto non c’è un paradosso?
Grazie
Ciao Gabriele.
Certo, entrambe le cose che pratichi tu sono un’ottima idea e penso che tu non stia avendo problemi a trarre soddisfazione dall’autoerotismo o dal sesso virtuale con i tuoi amici; perché il problema è proprio quello, anche io potrei fare sesso virtuale con i miei amici, o meglio ancora con i miei sub, oppure potrei, se entrasse nelle mie corde, impormi la castità. Il problema che riscontro io è proprio che invece che eccitarmi ad un pensiero del genere, non mi sento abbastanza interessato da mettere in pratica. E se lo faccio, mi smonto molto in fretta.
Lupus