Accepting Poliamory and Poligamy in a Leatherfamily
Poliamory and poligamy are two very common aspects of modern gay life, almost a movement or in some cases a fashion. How to deal with it, especially in BDSM relationships where as Leathermen, poligamy and poliamory are in a way part of the package by definition? Here are boy wolfy’s reactions to Poliamory and Poligamy.
Egoistic poligamy vs consensual Poligamy
In boys life, boy has dated some really nice guys. Some that even seemed they might be someone for the long haul. The one thing these guys had in common was their desire for sex with other men. This was usually done behind boys back, with no choice given to boy. boy always found out later and was very hurt and resentful. Why was it boy was the only guy out there who knew its worth, and could be happy with just one Man? Why did boy need to always be hurt, finding out about random fucks later, and feeling like a fool. boy was all-in, and these guys were all about fucking everyone. It wasn’t for lack of interest in sex by boy. boy would do just about anything its guy wanted, as much as they wanted. What was the deal?Then boy dated guys who decided they wanted to have a 3-some, because “it would be so hot to watch boy get fucked by another guy”. Well, this didn’t sound so bad, especially because boy was part of the equation. It was en eyes wide open, instead of a shocking discovery in the face of a lie. However as good as this sounded it was just another lie. Mostly they were ways for the guy to get some dick from other guys. The hard part was, boy had zero input or consideration in these interactions. When dating someone, and they tell boy this is monogamous, boy put on blinders and forgets about other guys. Then the boyfriend goes out and enjoys the man buffet after having mislead boy. Sometimes the frustration was, boy could have had some great times too, if it had known things were in fact, open for everyone.
One of the last times boy was hopeful and things were discussed about meeting a 3rd for an afternoon of fun seemed harmless. Everyone was on the same page and there were no secrets or agendas. The guy was nice, but as it turned out, boy nearly walked out completely unnoticed, as it was certainly no part of what was going on.
boy was so tired of being used and lied to, it broke things off shortly thereafter. The next guy was much the same, in that arena.
boy swore off men. It was done. No more liars, and no more problems. Then SIR and boy cross paths. boy was reticent at first because He was go good looking. boy figured he was probably one of those guys that can’t get enough dick from everyone. boy found out He had a Husband, and a slave, but this didn’t seem to bother boy, because He was honest and up-front about everything. After He and boy met in person, boy knew this Man was different, and had a high degree of honesty and integrity. Any questions were met with truth, even if it painted Him in a negative light. He told boy He had subs that He met with on occasion, and also some subs that He provided training to. boy understood this, but still the red flags went up, waiting to see when He would lie to boy,, as boy was sure that was to happen. boy was surprised when it did not. Very happily surprised.
Dealing with a Master’s poligamy and poliamory
boy will soon be full time in its MASTERS Home, which has become boys Home too. but being 4500 miles apart, when boy knew other subs were coming over, it had an upset stomach and such a feeling of being made a fool for allowing this to happen. There was a difference though. There was no sneaking around, or lying. He was open and honest, yet knew this was tough for boy, so He didn’t kill boy with an excited story filled with details. Sometimes these encounters were private and He didn’t share much with boy.
Every time this happened, boy felt it was being passed over again, rejected again, or anything else negative one could think of from His sex life. He really tried to help boy to understand, but at one point, when boy just wasn’t getting it, He had to use tough love and training with boy, and tell boy it was His right to have sex with anyone He chose, and His right to train anyone who sought out training from Him, that He could help and that boy was going to need to work on this, with His help of course, but that He would not walk around feeling guilty because He exercised His rights and responsibilities as an Old Guard Leather MASTER.
boy struggled and struggled with this. But then, boys MASTER pointed out that boy was 4500 miles away, and that of course what He and boy did together was much deeper, and boy was His boy, a part of His family, and that He loved boy. That no one would be replacing boy ever because W/we have this bond, and boy offered itself to Him, body mind heart and soul, and He accepted it and nothing could change it. This made a big difference to boy, as it felt part of the equation now, and it could better understand how and why things happened. boy was grateful for this knowledge and far more secure.
boy still struggled a bit with it, mostly due to the COVID-19 pandemic keeping MASTER and boy apart. As time went by, boy had one more episode of feeling hurt by its MASTER training someone else.W/we talked about it and He went way out of His way, much further than He had to, to try and reassure boy that boy was the most important to Him, that He was not trying to replace boy. That when boy got there W/we would make up for this time apart, and that boy would get so much hugging and kissing, and everything else, and how special it will be for boy to be there full time. And how sore boys pussy and throat would be from SIRS cock and fist. This sounded like heaven truly.
The consequences of Jealousy and possessiveness
Come this past Sunday night, SIR said “boy, SIR knows you are feeling down right now, because W/we have been apart for so long, but I have scheduled a few videos to be posted on JFF, via twitter clips. You may want to avoid SIRS page for just a bit”. Of course, boy was nervous and a bit upset, but it started thinking hard about this issue. This was not something that would change, and if boy looked at it realistically, boys position was in no way threatened. In fact, if this fucking virus was not around, there would be no problems, because minimally boy would have been able to visit. So boy watched the video, and found watching it in a different light, it was a very hot and sexy video, and the boy in the video with Him was a very sweet boy that this boy knows. A really great person! Finally, something clicked and boy realized it was looking at things all wrong. Yes, boy cannot wait to be there and serve its MASTER but the truly important things were that SIR was providing training for subs that requested it, and that was His responsibility as a MASTER. Most importantly, boy was happy that He was enjoying Himself because that is what matters. boys concern should be that He is receiving proper service and feeling good, and doing what He is meant to do. It was truly an epiphany, and boy could genuinely feel good about this, and know that it is right and proper, and that boy was being a good boy.
This was not the same as it had experienced before. This was not something for boy to hang its head about, or feel badly or not included. This privilege of MASTERS is something that just is, and will continue to be. When boy looks at things objectively, boy can see the difference. What MASTER chooses to do with others is not unimportant, and boy does not want to leave the impression that those sessions lack importance. MASTER does not “hook up” just to get off. He looks for connections, and what is in the mind of a sub who seeks Him out. However, some of the things boy has had the privilege of experiencing through Him are special in a different way. These are things He does not do with others, and that being His boy affords it. None of these things are better or worse, they are just different and require a different kind of connection to enjoy.
Acceptance and evolving from one’s monsters
boy has been called gullible by someone, and boy can see that this might seem strange if one is outside the Old Guard Leather Life (what boy calls a “civilian”) and boy can understand this position. If this was anything other than what it is, boy would agree. The difference is, boy chose this life, boy chose to respect and support everything its MASTER chooses to do, and boy is very happy to feel this way. What’s in it for boy? So much! A life that boy truly feels joy in living. A MASTER that is honest and protective, and makes boy feel secure for the first time in its life. Someone who can make love to boy with His whips, or hold boy close and share tender, loving times together. For the first time in boys life, it feels as if it belongs. It has a place. And it
also has responsibilities, for which it is grateful. boy has a beautiful life now, and a MAN in which it worships the ground He walks on. boy wouldn’t have it any other way.
Now boy looks forward to its MASTER being served properly, and even looks forward eagerly to a time when there may be 2 subs, boy and another sub servicing SIR, or perhaps even a time when SIR will want His boy to to service many men at once.
Suggestions for subs who struggle with this
boy has a bit of a suggestion here also. boy has heard from a few subs they have tough times with some of their training. That sometimes things can be hurtful but they don’t want to talk with their MASTER for fear of seeming whiny. Thats a bad idea. Any good MASTER would be happy to listen and help guide you on your Leather Journey. Sometimes the answer is “because I am the MASTER and you are the sub”, and yes boy has received that answer when its MASTER found that to be appropriate. But most times, He tries to help boy understand what is happening and why. Sometimes it is part of its training, and boy use recognize this, and respond gratefully no matter what the answer is. Don’t hold things inside. This was a huge issue, and if boy had kept it inside, it would have messed up the connection W/we have, and that cannot happen. Just ask respectfully for a bit of time to talk about the issue. Don’t post it on social media, don’t reach out to another MASTER (unless you feel you are in danger, then please reach out), or try to talk about it outside the Leather milieu. This is all about growing
and sometimes the biggest growth is during the most uncomfortable times.
In closing, Thank You MASTER for always taking the time to listen to Your boy, and to help it grow into the Leather boy You deserve. boy never wants to be anything less, MASTER.
This has been very informative and from the heart. A thoughtful sharing. Sincere. Beautiful .rocco